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22 December 2023
WHERE OUR MADCAP MAN OF THE HOUR GOES POSTAL AND GETS FRANK WITH KNUCKLEHEADS IN HIGH PLACES.
This month Frank wrote to the teeth cleaners at RAPID WHITE.
Dear Rapid Whiteners,
I just wanted to write a brief letter to thank you for the miraculous changes in my life, due in no small part to your amazing Rapid White teeth cleaning system. As a construction worker, I needed to have the brilliant, white smile that people would expect of those in my profession. You can see in the attached pictures that my teeth were in less than stellar shape from years of chewing on roof shingles and road tar on the job. My co-workers, especially Lenny "The Humper" Wilson (don't ask), my foreman, would ridicule me endlessly. Then I found Rapid White.
I chose to ignore the suggestion to use the product for only 10-20 minutes, once or twice a day. Instead I opted to wear the Duo Tray round-the-clock. All the gagging and choking from the whitening agent was difficult to adjust to at first, but that was to be expected considering that I used roughly 20 times the recommended dosage. My gums began to disintegrate somewhere around the fourth hour, but after surviving the time I accidentally cemented my balls to the sidewalk, the pain seemed small in comparison.
After I removed the tray and scraped away what was left of my gum line, I noticed a marked improvement to my smile. In fact, some of my missing teeth even grew back! I decided to go test my new shiny grin on my dog, Zeke. I got right up in his little doggy face, and flashed my newly brilliant teeth. Zeke's eyeballs exploded from their sockets and his face melted from his skull. Success!
My co-workers were stunned the next day when they saw me, and their faces melted. My boss gave me a raise and put me on the night shift, where I save the company an estimated $200 a week in lighting costs (see picture).
And it's all thanks to Rapid White.
Sincerely,
Frank Putzerelli
DO YOU KNOW A PERSON OR COMPANY THAT YOU THINK FRANK SHOULD WRITE TO? IF SO, EMAIL HIM AT FRANK@TLCHICKEN.COM
This month Frank wrote to the teeth cleaners at RAPID WHITE.
Dear Rapid Whiteners,
I just wanted to write a brief letter to thank you for the miraculous changes in my life, due in no small part to your amazing Rapid White teeth cleaning system. As a construction worker, I needed to have the brilliant, white smile that people would expect of those in my profession. You can see in the attached pictures that my teeth were in less than stellar shape from years of chewing on roof shingles and road tar on the job. My co-workers, especially Lenny "The Humper" Wilson (don't ask), my foreman, would ridicule me endlessly. Then I found Rapid White.
I chose to ignore the suggestion to use the product for only 10-20 minutes, once or twice a day. Instead I opted to wear the Duo Tray round-the-clock. All the gagging and choking from the whitening agent was difficult to adjust to at first, but that was to be expected considering that I used roughly 20 times the recommended dosage. My gums began to disintegrate somewhere around the fourth hour, but after surviving the time I accidentally cemented my balls to the sidewalk, the pain seemed small in comparison.
After I removed the tray and scraped away what was left of my gum line, I noticed a marked improvement to my smile. In fact, some of my missing teeth even grew back! I decided to go test my new shiny grin on my dog, Zeke. I got right up in his little doggy face, and flashed my newly brilliant teeth. Zeke's eyeballs exploded from their sockets and his face melted from his skull. Success!
My co-workers were stunned the next day when they saw me, and their faces melted. My boss gave me a raise and put me on the night shift, where I save the company an estimated $200 a week in lighting costs (see picture).
And it's all thanks to Rapid White.
Sincerely,
Frank Putzerelli
DO YOU KNOW A PERSON OR COMPANY THAT YOU THINK FRANK SHOULD WRITE TO? IF SO, EMAIL HIM AT FRANK@TLCHICKEN.COM
artid
733
Old Image
4_10_putz.swf
issue
vol 4 - issue 10 (jun 2002)
section
stories