BUT I HAD A GOOD TIME LAST NIGHT

My head feels like it got ran over with one of those old fashioned lawn mowers. The kind you have to push real hard to make the blades spin. Well, I feel like someone shoved that thing across my head a couple times, but they weren't quite doing it right, so they just kept trying over and over--and the blades were dull. They just keep shoving the thing into my head, dull blades cracking against my skull and leaving small cuts and bruises on my skin.
I feel like someone is standing on my head. A big fat guy is just standing there, and every once in awhile he shifts his weights from the front of my head to the back. He's got my skull sandwiched in between his immense tonnage and the hard concrete of a sidewalk. Every time the fat man moves my head gets ground around like a rusty ball bearing in a sandpaper socket.
But,.. I had a good time last night.