The title explains it all. Let's get down to business:
1. Donnie Darko

I don't know why I never called. Or wrote (really). Or visited (especially). You could've called (except you didn't have my number). Or written. Or visited (not that I expected you to).
For years you were a big part of my life. Even after I left and we lost touch, I thought of you often. The mark you left on me, though not obvious maybe to you or others or me (until now), is indelible.
I always meant to call (but I was "busy"). Or write. Or visit. (Why didn't I just stop by?) But I didn't. I never called you. Rarely wrote you. And, with deep regrets, never visited.

Thirty minutes. Six songs. Good timey, spaced out, kinda wacky fun. What these three kids that make up New Bethel got here on their EP Inside The Blue Vera is an interesting musical combo comprised of an organ, bass, guitar, drums, and some good (in that rough, unpolished, indie way) vocals.
Their musical ditties could be the soundtrack for a movie about a little six-year-old kid who wears mittens all of the time (even,.. no, especially in the summer) and likes to tend his garden all day long, wearing colorful, out of style jams to boot.

I had a dream last night that Meg White wanted to make out with me. So we did. And she’s a really good kisser. She has crooked teeth, but so do I. Our teeth locked like puzzle pieces. It was romantical.

Dakota Suite's This River Only Brings Poison isn't so much a collection of songs as it is a long, drawn out mood. And that mood is as upbeat as the album title. Damn, dude. Don't listen to this album if you're already depressed! I mean, it's very good for what it is: quiet, delicate, moody. Doesn't get much quieter, delicater (Is that even a word?), or moodier than this. But a down mood is only gonna get lower with this sad bastard music.

Greetings, Earthlings! I am your fearless leader, Captain George-Luc Picard the Dubyanator. I’m writing to you today from my “working vacation” here at George Wallace Country Club and Resort-- “The White Way to Welax!”. It’s the most beautiful resort in the United States, if you asked me. But, you didn’t. So ignore that last part.
What have I been doing on my vacation? Well, unfortunately, I’ve been working. Sort of. Working on what, you ask?

Okay, so you're probably wondering how A Way With Birds, the new album from Calvin, Don't Jump! is, right? Of course you are! You're in the fabled Entertainmental section of the paper, looking at a bunch of words with the promise of this album's review. It's only natural that you'd think you were about to read said review. But, see, the thing is, while I'm sure these people are fairly talented and most likely earnest musicians, I honestly can't remember anything about the album. For true.

Hey Tina,
Don't worry. I'm not some "ho-bag" trying to get Shia's email address or phone number. I just have a simple question. Do you know if Shia is currently dating someone?
Thanks,
Kissis1243
kissis1243@yahoo.com
PS: XOXO for creating an awesome place to talk about the best person ever!
Kissis1243,

On a recent trip to San Francisco I ended up face-to-flab with what, in my humble opinion, is possibly the most hideous evil ever to confront USA, Inc. It's worse even than the current crop of boogey-men vying to outdo one another in their quest to flush our once-great republic down the proverbial drain.
I'm speaking, of course, about low-cut jeans and belly shirts.

TOLEDO, OH - Frank Martin, 25, has long been a student of the world. An admirer of both art and science, psychology and humor, Martin considers himself to be pretty level-headed and even mildly intelligent. Yet he is unable to understand the confusing antics of his love interest, Susan Harsche, 22. Despite this, he still considers himself to be quite smitten with her.
The trouble started a few weeks ago, when-- after a long friendship and awkward courtship-- Harsche finally confessed her love to Martin. They spent the night together, and parted ways for a few days.