CONTRACEPTION, WHY NOT?

I love sex. Yes, I know it may be hard to believe, but I’ve been known to enjoy many a pelvic grind. And I’m about to get even more honest with you: I enjoy not using contraception. I know, I know. It’s not exactly the most responsible choice; but it is one I do prefer. I’m smart about it, of course. I mean, when you’re as obsessive about disease and germs as I am, you take every precaution you can. But I am weak when it comes to wrapping my burrito. So when I went to the post office the other day, and found an audio tape and a pamphlet titled “Contraception, Why Not”, I was interested. I opened up the pamphlet and read the heartwarming introduction by Father Tom Hennessey: “It clearly talked about why contraception is wrong, and it was wonderful to hear that.” Hot damn! The Church doesn’t want me to wrap it up! As I listened to the tape, which in essence is a lecture given by Professor Janet E. Smith, I learned more about how even GOD HIMSELF didn’t want me to use rubbers! Now that’s someone I should listen to! And it was then that I had an epiphany: I would never use contraception again, because I prefer to have A KID I DON’T WANT, AND GET A HOST OF REPUGNANT DISEASES LIKE HERPES, AIDS, GENITAL WARTS, SYPHILIS, GONORRHEA, CHLAMYDIA, AND BLISTERS ON THE TIP OF MY PENIS! So basically, God would rather have my cock rot off than have me put on a raincoat. Wow. That’s some Old Testament shit for you. If you’d like to learn why you shouldn’t use contraception, you can visit these twits at their website: omsoul.com. Some things just have to be seen to be believed.