admin
22 December 2023
Yo, Santa!
Can I holla at 'chu? Look, man, it's hard out here on da streets. Man, people don't wanna give you nothin' for free. Folks be lookin' at you funny, just because you ain't bathed in six years and you got dried bird shit in yo' hair. Damn! Plus, the Man's always trying to keep you down! Just the other day, the cops done came and busted up my cardboard-crib! I had me a nice little setup outside dis fancy restaurant, like, McDonald's or Burger Prince. Yeah, and then them pigs done kicked over my refrigerator box and whooped my ass! I'm on da ground bleedin', they're stompin' on my corrugated palace, and that damned evil-honkey-McDonald's clown is just standing over it all, smiling, smiling, SMILING!!! Er, uh,.. anyway, now I got no home and a broken hand that's swolled up like a grapefruit. Damn! Where's it a law that you can whoop a brotha's ass just cause he smells like raw butt-piss and lives in cardboard? How am I supposed to get a job and feed my seven childrens with a puss and blood cantalope-hand? Not that I ever applied for a job. It's just the principle, ya know? Anyway, Santa, I just wanted to axe you if for Christmas dis year, you could hook me up with my two front teeth,.. and the three on the side that I lost last summer. Oh, and a bottle of whiskey, some reefers, and a bullet in da head for my five babies' mama, 'cause dat trick ain't nothin' but a ho. Thanks.
-Willy Hotep
PS: Sorry dis letter is written on toilet paper. It's the only thing I could smuggle out of the Woolworths I hang out in front of.
Can I holla at 'chu? Look, man, it's hard out here on da streets. Man, people don't wanna give you nothin' for free. Folks be lookin' at you funny, just because you ain't bathed in six years and you got dried bird shit in yo' hair. Damn! Plus, the Man's always trying to keep you down! Just the other day, the cops done came and busted up my cardboard-crib! I had me a nice little setup outside dis fancy restaurant, like, McDonald's or Burger Prince. Yeah, and then them pigs done kicked over my refrigerator box and whooped my ass! I'm on da ground bleedin', they're stompin' on my corrugated palace, and that damned evil-honkey-McDonald's clown is just standing over it all, smiling, smiling, SMILING!!! Er, uh,.. anyway, now I got no home and a broken hand that's swolled up like a grapefruit. Damn! Where's it a law that you can whoop a brotha's ass just cause he smells like raw butt-piss and lives in cardboard? How am I supposed to get a job and feed my seven childrens with a puss and blood cantalope-hand? Not that I ever applied for a job. It's just the principle, ya know? Anyway, Santa, I just wanted to axe you if for Christmas dis year, you could hook me up with my two front teeth,.. and the three on the side that I lost last summer. Oh, and a bottle of whiskey, some reefers, and a bullet in da head for my five babies' mama, 'cause dat trick ain't nothin' but a ho. Thanks.
-Willy Hotep
PS: Sorry dis letter is written on toilet paper. It's the only thing I could smuggle out of the Woolworths I hang out in front of.
artid
996
Old Image
5_4_cover.jpg
issue
vol 5 - issue 04 (dec 2002)
section
cover story