FUNERALS FOR DUMMIES

These days it seems there is a do-it-yourself book for everything in your life. But I, your dear Aunt Fphatty, am the one who has gone the extra mile. I\'ve written a book to help you with what comes beyond: Death. That\'s right, Funerals for Dummies is my new book that helps the everyday Joe become the most death savvy guy around. Who among us hasn\'t been at a viewing and thought, “I could have done a better job on Uncle Herbert\'s make-up! He looks like a papier-mache geisha!” Well, here\'s your chance! My book explains everything it takes to put your late loved one in the ground. Anyone can do it! You can do it better than the professionals, and you can do it for hundreds, even thousands of dollars less! The key is economy in found materials. For example, I\'ll teach you how to prep a body using only Listerine and Crayola products! We\'ll make a casket out of a refrigerator box (or any other large appliance box)! You’ll even learn how to transport a body-- not in an expensive hearse, but tied to a Radio Flyer pulled by your neighborhood dogs. You see? These things don\'t take skill or time, just a little bit of ingenuity. Doesn\'t it all sound like fun? Who said funerals had to be depressing? With my new book, you\'ll discover the true joy of funerals! Soon, you\'ll find yourself having memorial services for people you don\'t even know! You\'ll even be hanging around old boring relatives, just waiting for them to croak! Or maybe you’ll just off them yourself! Funerals can now be fast, easy, hip, and as fun as they were always meant to be. But only if you order Funerals for Dummies now!
Published by Fphatty Press, $18.95, softcover