JOHN DENVER RETURNS. NO ONE CARES.

ROCKY MOUNTAINS - After years of no speculation whatsoever, the truth has finally come to light. John Denver came out of “retirement” today, bringing years of lukewarm interest in whether the folk/country artist had faked his own death to an end.
As your parents may remember, John Denver was the artist behind such hits as, “Rocky Mountain High”, “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”, and “Take Me Home, Country Roads”.
Denver, born Henry John Deutschendorf Jr., told a gathering of four reporters and three fans the reason for his deception.
“I thought it would boost my album sales,” Denver confessed sheepishly. “It worked for Jim Morrison and that Cobain kid. I thought it would work for me, too.”
When asked if there were any plans to put Denver’s albums back into print, a spokesperson for RCA records replied, “John who? Oh,.. I doubt it.”