THE VACATION OF A LIFETIME

I recently took the vacation of a lifetime and I just have to share it with you. It started with me hopping on a plane and flying to somewhere in Wisconsin. I then boarded a boat, sailed southeast along a river, disembarked in a mossy forest and crawled through a hollow, damp log. Where I ended up was simply smurferrific: Smurfingdom, what a place! The lifestyle is as smurfderful as its name. Each morning I woke to the sweet melody of Harmony Smurf's trumpet. My days began by smurfing carelessly down Smurf Street. I would smurf at all of the smurfily-colored mushroom houses and smurfominiums. Breakfast was always a hot and smurfalicious smurfberry pastry smurfed out fresh from Greedy Smurf's oven. Without fail, he'd smurf it through his window at smurf o'clock sharp. Every smurf there would be just about as smurfy as could be, smurfing up smiles no matter whom they would smurf by. Smurfette gave me a tour of her garden; there are smurfflowers as far as the eye can smurf, and you can sniff the smurf scent just as far. Once, on an emergency trip to the smurftologist, Jokey Smurf offered me a present. I unsmurfingly accepted it, only to have the thing smurfplode everywhere! Luckily, Hefty Smurf was right there and smurfed Jokey up good for me. One peaceful day I smurfed into Brainy Smurf and he showed me Grandpa Smurf's grave (he unexpectedly smurfed the bucket several years ago during a routine smurfonoscopy). We could only stay for a short time because Gargamel and his cat Azrael came along. But Brainy Smurf knew just what to do and smurfed me to safety. Boy, that was really smurfy of him! I just can't begin to explain how smurfing smurftastic every smurf was. Even Papa Smurf smurfed some time out of his busy day to smurf along with me to Homnibus the Wizard's house. My last night there, Vanity Smurf took me to The Smurf Den; a bar where all of the smurfiest smurfs smurf together and smurf down fermented smurfberry juice. The place was smurfing all night long! We got smurfed up on smurfberry coladas and smurfed and grinded into the night. Vanity was totally sloshed smurf-style, and smurfed home to spend the night with some stranger smurf that looked suspiciously like Painter Smurf. What fun! Over all, my trip was an utter smurfcess; Smurfingdom is as close to Smurfadise as you can get. They all promised to write me and call every Smurfday to keep in touch. That will have to do for the time being. But I tell you, I'm just smurfing my pants to get back there next year!