READER DISTRAUGHT OVER FAKE STORY

COLUMBUS, OH - Local resident Maria Partridge (37) was in disbelief last Thursday when she learned that this article was not true, but in fact, a figment of someone’s imagination.
“I was dumfounded. I have been reading the newspaper ever since I was a little girl to keep up on world events,” said Partridge. “It had never occurred to me that something in print might not have any basis in reality. I am starting to question my whole existence.”
Authorities are highly speculative of Partridge’s existential dilemma, as they understand that even she, too, has been made up.