FRANKLIN FURTER'S MATTERS OF THE HEART

Franklin,
In my spare time I run an advice column in a local paper. Like yours, my column is designed to help people with their love life. But unlike you, I thought it would be funny if I made up all the letters, so that I might create humorous responses to them. Much to my dismay, I received an actual letter from an actual person with an actual problem. I am unsure how to respond. Should I be polite, or should I make fun of them like I do with the made-up letters?
Morally distraught,
Frankli-- I mean,.. ah,.. Steve Kanoodle
Steve,
As a journalist it is your duty to provide the truth to your readers. In your case, you report the nuts and bolts of humanity: relationships. Your readers, like mine, depend on your advice so that they can bring meaning to their lives. Therefore, the only solution is to answer the letter in an honest manner.
Franklin Furter,
Last year I met a guy online, and we became friends, chatting through IMs for a few months. Last April I drove down to Florida to visit him. We spent a few hours hanging out, with mild/medium kissing, and mild gropage. We\'ve been boyfriend/girlfriend online ever since. There\'s only one major problem to our perfect relationship: I\'m in Ohio, and he\'s in Florida. Last year, we would talk online every day. But it\'s trailed off over the months. Now, we barely catch each other on IM. We\'ve said we love each other, and he\'s even mentioned marriage once or twice. But he\'s my first boyfriend, and I\'m not sure if it\'s really love. I\'m feeling the urge to stray, to get some experience before I contemplate settling down. Am I right to want to date other guys, or should I stick by my far-away man?
Lonely in Columbus,
Brynhild Jones
Brynhild,
I don’t believe the man in Florida is your boyfriend. You must understand that relationships are very complicated endeavors. People have relationships at different times to fulfill different aspects of their lives. Often times people grow or change, and the relationship that was satisfactory before becomes inadequate, at which point it should end or be reworked. I would be willing to wager that the two of you were lonely, and created your relationship to fill that void. I think your relationship has outgrown itself, and your feelings to stray are your desire to build a real relationship, which I believe you should do. If you still feel unsure of this, you should talk to him. Remember, a relationship involves many things; the most important of which is open communication. Followed closely by sharing quality time together, supporting each other, and fucking until dawn. All of which your \"boyfriend\" is not giving you. If things are like this now, can you imagine what life would be like if you were married?
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