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22 December 2023
This is a very special moment we’re about to share, dear reader. I’m writing this CD review as I listen to it. You’re living a life experience WITH me. Isn’t that sexy? Ooh,...
How can I convey to you what this album is doing to me? I’ll try my best. Let’s start with a simple verbal summation: mediocrity. Only, in this instance, mediocrity is a 400 lb. woman in abrasive wool pajamas trying to squeeze her Venus of Willendorf sculpt into my ears. Yes, that’s a very large woman. And yes, that is a very small orifice.
But she’s in there now, stomping around, leaving Jurassic Park-sized potholes in my now-bleeding brain. Potholes she’s spackling with this god-awful-- what the hell is it, anyway? Heavy metal? Hardcore? Someone in this band is wearing a baseball cap, and said baseball cap is backwards.
Now Jesus is here. He’s grinning the most sheepish of grins. Flock you. This record is punishment, administered by the Golden Child himself, for all the sins I’ve committed in this short life of mine. He starts playing hopscotch in all the bloody potholes ol’ Roly-Polyana Plumpenstein pumped into my knowledge-sponge. Where is she, anyway?
Ah, yes. Of course. Trying to squeeze her way out of that tiniest of holes. The Earth is my kidney stone, and I am trying to pass it.
Freya’s latest disc is available through Victory Records. You can check it out if you want, but this love hurts too much to share again.
VISIT FREYA HERE.
PURCHASE THIS OR SIMILAR ITEMS
How can I convey to you what this album is doing to me? I’ll try my best. Let’s start with a simple verbal summation: mediocrity. Only, in this instance, mediocrity is a 400 lb. woman in abrasive wool pajamas trying to squeeze her Venus of Willendorf sculpt into my ears. Yes, that’s a very large woman. And yes, that is a very small orifice.
But she’s in there now, stomping around, leaving Jurassic Park-sized potholes in my now-bleeding brain. Potholes she’s spackling with this god-awful-- what the hell is it, anyway? Heavy metal? Hardcore? Someone in this band is wearing a baseball cap, and said baseball cap is backwards.
Now Jesus is here. He’s grinning the most sheepish of grins. Flock you. This record is punishment, administered by the Golden Child himself, for all the sins I’ve committed in this short life of mine. He starts playing hopscotch in all the bloody potholes ol’ Roly-Polyana Plumpenstein pumped into my knowledge-sponge. Where is she, anyway?
Ah, yes. Of course. Trying to squeeze her way out of that tiniest of holes. The Earth is my kidney stone, and I am trying to pass it.
Freya’s latest disc is available through Victory Records. You can check it out if you want, but this love hurts too much to share again.
VISIT FREYA HERE.
PURCHASE THIS OR SIMILAR ITEMS
artid
1334
Old Image
5_9_freya.jpg
issue
vol 5 - issue 09 (may 2003)
section
entertainmental