WEED PATCH'S MAYBE THE BRAKES WILL FAIL

Ever been tricked into going to a wedding with a new girlfriend? It\'s one of those defining moments in a relationship. You\'re really into each other, so you think, \"What the hell? It can\'t be that bad.\" And then you get there. She\'s on her best behavior because her family\'s there. No ass grabbing, making out, and, naturally, she doesn\'t want you to get hammered. Okay, fine. You can still make it through this reception. Oh! They\'ve got a band. Maybe they\'ll be good. Then they start to play that annoying mix of sorta-country, sorta-hippy, slightly R.E.M. crap that makes you wonder why they even bother at all. You know the band: the one that somebody\'s brother-in-law plays in. After the set, they compliment each other on sounding so good even though they haven\'t practiced or played together in two years. At least you never have to worry about that group of scraggly 40-year-olds getting a record deal. These are the guys with homemade CDs with their name written in marker across the top, and a bad photocopy of a photocopy of a band picture on the cover. Right? WRONG! Hell has frozen over, my friends. Weed Patch has been signed, and the antithesis to all that is good and holy is called Maybe The Brakes Will Fail. I\'ve actually made it almost the whole way through this disc (I\'m on song eleven,.. only one more to go!) even though every fiber in my being wants to rip it from the CD player and hurl it across the goddamn room. I\'m a masochist, though. So even though you have to be good at the wedding reception, here, in the privacy of your own home, you can let the band really know what you think. The last song is over-- Fling! Crash! Yep, the brakes did fail!