THE LAST COMIC STANDING

The least funny and saddest show on television right now has to be Last Comic Standing. Anyone watched this tragedy? It's a reality show about wannabe comedians living together in a house to see what happens when people stop being funny, and start getting disturbingly whiney and absolutely unfunny. Yeah, it's like MTV's The Real World, but with anti-funny, pseudo-comedians, instead of spoiled sorority girls, muscle heads, token gays, and drunken "virginal" sluts.
The "comedians" compete and challenge each other to stand-up face-offs, kicking one out of the "ha ha" house (my name for it, not the show's) each week until there's only one unfunny, sad bastard left,.. standing. At least that's what I think it's about from the commercials and 15 minutes of the show I've seen. I guess I'm not really qualified to "review" it, but that's never stopped me before.
There's this one crazy guy who keeps a detailed journal of all his performances, with charts and graphs measuring the laughs of each "joke". He's Asian, which doesn't really matter much, except on the shitty website for the show at nbc.com there is a picture of him doing a big karate kick. At least there was on July 24, 2003. I don't know if they update it much. But it's funnier than anything on the show, I'd wager. You don't see any of the black or white guys doing kung fu. It's awesome to me. Awesome.
There's also a "zany" gal with anime spiked hair who is all about her wacky therapy and mental problems. There are a couple of fatties, two homoerotic "tough" guys who, in a part of the one episode I saw, were in a hot tub together, "dissing" the other comedians, and a working mom-type. God. It's depressing. They're all the opposite of funny. Like Jay Leno and SIDS.
Okay, maybe I'm being too hard on them. The show is a mess, and the whole idea just isn't fair. The competition, living together, and this pseudo-Survivor kicking people out of the house type of shit-- horrendous. I know these people want to "make it", and if Carrot Top can, they can. But, damn, this whole idea is a recipe for disaster.
The formerly funny Jay Mohr hosts and executive produces this appalling travesty. What the hell, Jay? You went from a great Walken impersonation on SNL, to firing Tom Cruise's ass in Jerry Maguire, to kissing Scott Wolf in Go, to this??? Seriously. What the hell, Jay? Get a new agent. Or get an agent.
Then again, I don't have my own reality show. Shit. Who am I to talk? Or,.. I mean,.. write, I guess. No-- wait. Don't answer that. No one answer that "Who am I to write?" question, okay? Let me live in denial.
And don't watch Last Comic Standing, if it's even still on the air. I'm honestly not sure. But, if it is, the "funniest person in the America" that the promos promise, ain't on it.
He's in Milwaukee, probably fucking around in his basement/bedroom.