admin
22 December 2023
NEW YORK, NY - Impatient to reach the next floor at his crappy job, Andy Zask, 28, swore under his breath, and drilled the button marked "up" for almost 30 seconds before taking the stairs.
"It's a damn shame, you know?" said Zask. "We've been on the freaking moon already, but they can't make an elevator to get you where you want to go in a hurry."
A representative from Otis Elevator, the maker of the elevator in question, said, "Otis has created a smart, compact system that defines the next generation in elegant design and efficient operation.” He continued, "Our system is designed for buildings up to 300 feet tall, requiring car speeds of 200 and 350 feet per minute. But that means squat when morons stand there and mash the buttons like a monkey looking for pellets. It won't come any faster."
"It's a damn shame, you know?" said Zask. "We've been on the freaking moon already, but they can't make an elevator to get you where you want to go in a hurry."
A representative from Otis Elevator, the maker of the elevator in question, said, "Otis has created a smart, compact system that defines the next generation in elegant design and efficient operation.” He continued, "Our system is designed for buildings up to 300 feet tall, requiring car speeds of 200 and 350 feet per minute. But that means squat when morons stand there and mash the buttons like a monkey looking for pellets. It won't come any faster."
artid
1568
Old Image
6_1_elevator.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 01 (sep 2003)
section
stories