STENOGRAPHERS IN DARK ABOUT EQUIPMENT

TAMPA, FLORIDA - In a recent poll taken in courtrooms across America, it was revealed that courtroom stenographers have no clue how their weird little typewriter actually works, what it does, or why they even need to be there in the first place.
"When I came for my job interview, the guy told me to make weird mashing motions with my hands," said Ellen Baynor of Tampa. "He said I had nice legs, and he complimented me on my tan. Then he said I was hired, gave me a check for $700 to buy some nice clothes, and told me to just sit there and act as though I was keeping track of something. I have no clue how it even works. I mostly just sit there and listen to the cases, or I bring headphones and listen to music."