NEW G.I. JOE TOYS IN THE WORKS

PAWTUCKET, RI - Hasbro Toys announced late last week that it planned to revive the 1980's version of their G.I. Joe line of toys.
"There is this whole retro thing going on now, so we decided to get in on the action and give the children of the Eighties something to reminisce about," said Hasbro spokesperson, Linda Ellington.
But rather than just reissue exact replicas of the old toys, Hasbro has decided to take it up a notch by introducing new versions of old characters.
"We had a lot of success when we took real people and made them into G.I. Joe characters," said Ellington. "Characters like William 'The Fridge' Perry and Sgt. Slaughter were among our top sellers. The excitement that those characters created is what we want to generate with this new line."
So instead of having Flint and Wild Bill fight Cobra Commander and Dr. Mindbender, you can now pit "Larry Flint" and "Wild Bill Clinton" against "Oprah Commander" and "Dr. Phil Mindbender".
Ellington seems excited about the possibilities. "I mean, who wouldn't want to see Larry and Bill whip the shit out of Oprah and Phil?"