HURRICANE SIGN GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT

BISMARK, NORTH DAKOTA - While more than 100,000 people were being urged to evacuate the North Carolina coast in the face of Hurricane Isabel, those choosing to remain behind boarded up the windows to their homes and businesses with sheets of plywood and, in some cases, painted crude messages on the surface of the wood, in the feeble hopes of discouraging the storm.
"First of all, hurricanes can't read," said local third grade English teacher, Eva Baum. "Secondly, they really should have used a contraction in that instance. The sign should have read 'You're driving us nuts,' as in 'you are'. The way this reads is just nonsense. It gives the hurricane ownership of the driving, which wasn't the intended message. And, obviously, the phrase 'us nuts' is a nightmare in and of itself."
The owner of the sign could not be reached for comment.