I WALK

No one is ever around when I get home from work. So, rather than sit in an empty house, I walk. It has become a ritual for me. Nothing follows me when I walk. It is all left behind. I pass houses of families; the smell of their dinners creep out the screen doors-- almost tauntingly-- as if to rub in the fact that the only highlight of my evening meal will be swirling the yellow mustard with my blue ketchup, as I wait for hot dogs to thaw in the microwave.
I hear young voices as I approach a small playground.
"So, I'm single now. Today officially,.. and it sucks." A girl of about 12 swings down from monkey bars looking expectantly at her friends for some sort of acknowledgement. I can’t help but laugh to myself.
This past year has been peppered with break-ups-- some of them by choice, most of them not. This poor child has no idea what she is in for, but I remember how those days were. Nothing mattered but the current moment.
I turn down a new street. Two girls get into a car, most likely going to work. I pass the parked car. The driver glances at me as she puts the keys in the ignition. The passenger doesn't notice me. Her head is bent down over the bowl she is trying to light. They pull away, and I catch a quick whiff of the dissipating smoke.
Some people need a few hits off the pipe to get through their everyday lives, while for others it can be as simple as a trip to the playground with a few friends. For me, it's been my walks. Work could have been hell, or I could have the nastiest hangover booze ever concocted. But for that one hour, everything just melts away. Some days I even go twice. I don't know so much what it is about them. I just know that for a few short hours, my life seems to make sense.