admin
22 December 2023
I am quite possibly one of the poorest people on the planet. I'm a graduate student-- too old to mooch off my parents, too young to have a real job and actual money. I live off Ramen, and grade papers for $5,000 a year. Bleh.
But the thing is, I'm doing this because I want to be here studying history. To those who don't, I say get the hell out of here and stop wasting your parents' money. Get a job at McDonald's now, because you'll end up there after graduation, anyway. I know because I'm the one who has to read your insanely fucking stupid tests.
If you're in an upper-level elective Irish history class and you're writing shit like, "The heavy hand of English legislation weighed heavily on the minds of all the people of Ireland," drop the damn class. If your introductory sentence is, "Ancient Ireland came about as a green island of mystery and enchantment," you shouldn't be in college. And if you can't fucking read the directions and write a sentence or two for each question instead of writing one essay-- for God's sake-- get sterilized, lest you give birth to the next George W. Bush.
And don't bitch at me because I "gave" you a C. If you want a better grade, actually know the material. Don't try to hide the fact that you don't know shit by using words like "microcosm" in your essay. All that does is set off my bullshitometer. Of course I'm better at bullshitting than you-- how else do you think I got into grad school?
So, if you don't care about college (or are just plain stupid), for the love of God, stay home so the rest of us don't have to put up with your shit.
But the thing is, I'm doing this because I want to be here studying history. To those who don't, I say get the hell out of here and stop wasting your parents' money. Get a job at McDonald's now, because you'll end up there after graduation, anyway. I know because I'm the one who has to read your insanely fucking stupid tests.
If you're in an upper-level elective Irish history class and you're writing shit like, "The heavy hand of English legislation weighed heavily on the minds of all the people of Ireland," drop the damn class. If your introductory sentence is, "Ancient Ireland came about as a green island of mystery and enchantment," you shouldn't be in college. And if you can't fucking read the directions and write a sentence or two for each question instead of writing one essay-- for God's sake-- get sterilized, lest you give birth to the next George W. Bush.
And don't bitch at me because I "gave" you a C. If you want a better grade, actually know the material. Don't try to hide the fact that you don't know shit by using words like "microcosm" in your essay. All that does is set off my bullshitometer. Of course I'm better at bullshitting than you-- how else do you think I got into grad school?
So, if you don't care about college (or are just plain stupid), for the love of God, stay home so the rest of us don't have to put up with your shit.
artid
1875
Old Image
6_4_graduates.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 04 (dec 2003)
section
stories