SCHWARZENEGGER RESIGNS DUE TO UNEXPECTED PREGNANCY

SACRAMENTO, CA - In a press conference held at the California State Capitol building yesterday, newly elected governor Arnold Schwarzenegger publicly revealed that he would be resigning from office due to the recent discovery that he is pregnant.
"The plan was that I was only going to carry it for one trimester before aborting it," explained the bodybuilding foreigner on the subject of the artificially-implanted human embryo. "But after a lot of soul-searching, I finally got my priorities straight. Danny (DeVito) and I are keeping the baby."
The impact of the announcement is unsure this early in the pregnancy, but political analysts agree that the coming months will be a "...fun-filled romp that is sure to delight the entire family."