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22 December 2023
Are you tired of turning on MTV, only to find that the musicians of today are all gorgeous? Are the broad shoulders, bulging biceps, pert tits and Krylon-blasted lips just too much for you to handle? Well, fear not! Because, at long last, the age of the truly hideous rocker is here! The Star Spangles prove that, and then some!
Seriously, these kids have it all: the greasy black hair, the Adirondack complexion, the trout mouth; the entire image is horrifically complete! Never before has a quartet pulled off such a skanktastic rendition of the ugly--
Wha--? Well, yeah,.. that guy in The Hives was pretty beat. Hmmm? Mick Jagger? Geez, I didn't even think of him. Huh? Did you say, "Ringo Starr"? Well, shit. I guess this hideous rocker thing has been going on far longer than I thought.
Either way, The Star Spangles are taking it to new heights. Like some lost-in-time version of The Ramones in argyle and polka dots, these not-too-pretty gents are primed to make history with their latest release, Bazooka!!! (Capitol Records).
A testament to music that's-- how the kids say-- "just plain fun", this 13-track party on plastic is every piece of spit-soaked grime you'd expect to find on the floor after a Blondie show at CBGB. It's pit-stained guitar licks. It's loud-mouthed call and response choruses. It's that worn out cassette tape with the permanent spot on the floor of your Volvo with the Rolling Stones lips sticker on the trunk. You know, the one that you practically live out of, that's gotten you from Dayton to Detroit on half a tank of gas, and reeks of cigarettes and year-old espresso stains. Yup. It's all that.
And, once you get past all the Euro-rock posing and costumes, Bazooka!!! actually proves to be an exciting album to listen to. That is, it will be until the next incarnation of The Star Spangles comes along riding atop MTV's pale horse, and they have a female bass player, or something like that,.. some shit to mix it up just enough for them to call it something "new". Next!
For more, dig thestarspangles.com.
PURCHASE THIS OR SIMILAR ITEMS
Seriously, these kids have it all: the greasy black hair, the Adirondack complexion, the trout mouth; the entire image is horrifically complete! Never before has a quartet pulled off such a skanktastic rendition of the ugly--
Wha--? Well, yeah,.. that guy in The Hives was pretty beat. Hmmm? Mick Jagger? Geez, I didn't even think of him. Huh? Did you say, "Ringo Starr"? Well, shit. I guess this hideous rocker thing has been going on far longer than I thought.
Either way, The Star Spangles are taking it to new heights. Like some lost-in-time version of The Ramones in argyle and polka dots, these not-too-pretty gents are primed to make history with their latest release, Bazooka!!! (Capitol Records).
A testament to music that's-- how the kids say-- "just plain fun", this 13-track party on plastic is every piece of spit-soaked grime you'd expect to find on the floor after a Blondie show at CBGB. It's pit-stained guitar licks. It's loud-mouthed call and response choruses. It's that worn out cassette tape with the permanent spot on the floor of your Volvo with the Rolling Stones lips sticker on the trunk. You know, the one that you practically live out of, that's gotten you from Dayton to Detroit on half a tank of gas, and reeks of cigarettes and year-old espresso stains. Yup. It's all that.
And, once you get past all the Euro-rock posing and costumes, Bazooka!!! actually proves to be an exciting album to listen to. That is, it will be until the next incarnation of The Star Spangles comes along riding atop MTV's pale horse, and they have a female bass player, or something like that,.. some shit to mix it up just enough for them to call it something "new". Next!
For more, dig thestarspangles.com.
PURCHASE THIS OR SIMILAR ITEMS
artid
1906
Old Image
6_4_starspangles.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 04 (dec 2003)
section
entertainmental