THE SHIA MAILBAG

From: Rieben4@aol.com
To: tina_is_the_best@tlchicken.com
Sent: Sunday, January 04, 2004 5:33 PM
Hey, I know yo from Australia, but if you ever got Shia's email address, you should tell me what it is now. I was one of his good friends when we were like from ages 5-8 and I have been trying to get in touch with him ever since he moved away from Pasadena, so it would be way schweet if I could get that.
Thanks,
- Craig
Dear Craig,
I am, like, so jealous that you knew Shia "Awesome" LaBeouf when he was little. I mean, if I knew him then, he might not be an actor like he is now, because he would have had a serious crush on me, and I, being a girl and all, would have played hard to get until one day, like, maybe at prom, I slow dance with him to something really romantic, and it's a month until we graduate, so I tell him, "I love you, Shia LaBeouf, awesomest boy in school." And he freaks out and is all like, "Whoa! I totally love you, Tina Peters, awesomest girl in school." And then we, like, start making out and stuff, and run away to one of those places in Vegas that will marry you for, like, a dollar and a sandwich, and he would totally never make it to Hollywood, because loving me is a full-time job. Unfortunately, I didn't know him then, so he is where he is, and I am here, waiting. I wouldn't be waiting if I had his email address. I wish I did. Sorry. Maybe you could, like, look him up in a phone book or something.
Awesomely yours,
- Tina Peters
From: Jackie Bernardo
To: tina_is_the_best@tlchicken.com
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2003 6:09 PM
Subject: Shia question
Is Shia single? I'm wondering.
- Jackie
Hey Jackie,
Whassup, girl? To answer your question: Yes, "Shia" is single. "Shias" would be the plural.
Peace out,
- Tina Peters
From: ramyv@earthlink.net
To: tina_is_the_best@tlchicken.com
Sent: Sunday, December 28, 2003 2:04 AM
Subject: I can't stop laughing
I just spent 15 minutes reading Shia's interview, then the deja vu link-- I have no idea who he is-- but it was brilliant that he used the same questions. At least his interview is going to be read. And now this section written by a-- yeah, right-- 13-year-old! My two questions are: Will Shia's agent talk to you ever again? Does Shia know that he has the most read interview?
Hey ramyv,
Yeah, I totally have no idea who that old guy we interviewed is, or if he thought it was actually funny to answer Shia's questions. Obviously, he realizes that Shia is, like, the coolest thing ever! And what's with his dumb band name: "They Might Be Giants"? More like "They Might Be Gay".
But, yo, you need to step off, sister. What do you mean a "yeah, right-- 13-year-old"? What do you think I am, like, a 25-year-old guy with a college degree who thinks it's funny to impersonate a 13-year-old girl to contend with the onslaught of mail brought on by obsessive Shia fans, only to realize that they ask, like, the same exact question every time, and now he's kinda burnt out on it after months and months of pulling one over on these gullible girls?
Well, I'm not. So, like, whatever.
Sincerely,
- Tina Peters
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