LE PEPES – ALL FUN THINGS END

PEPE, BEING A CHIHUAHUA, CANNOT TYPE. SO HE RECORDED THIS CD REVIEW INSTEAD. HERE IS THE TRANSCRIPTION:
Pepe: (clears throat) Okay. Testing, testing. One, two, one, two,.. tree?
Okay, hello dere. Dis is da Pepes. Many of you may know me as Latta de Saint's dog. But also, I'm a big fan of music! And, it just so happen dat Wayne Chinsang and Vinnie Baggadonuts got dis CD by a band called Le Pepes, and dey thought, "Hey! Why not give it to Pepe?" And I cannot disagree wit dem.
So, I got it in da CD player, and I’m gonna hit "play" wit my lil' paw, just gonna go ahead and listen to dis and see, you know, if dey're any good or not.
Le Pepes. It's a good name. Dey didn't pay me for it, doh.
(music starts playing)
What da hell? Da first one's called, uh, "Big Wheel Trickery". Oh my God! Oh my goddamn! Dis is one a dem, dem college boys gettin' together and making songs and dey don't wanna sing good and dey (singing in whiney voice) siiing like diiis! And dey suck! Oh, fast-forward!
Song number twos. Mmmm,.. very similar. In tone. Slightly different sound. I don't know. I don't know if I like 'em usin' my name. No, no,.. I don't know about dese guys. I don't know about dese guys here. Dis is kinda makin' me feel weird.
Song number tree. Oh my God. I dunno, I mean, maybe, maybe perhaps, even doh dey're using my names, maybe I’m not da best puppy dog to review dis CDs. Because, I dunno, I mean, I like a good singers, you know? Dey don't sing good. I like a da Celine Dions, or da Christina Aguileras,.. you know, basically, I listen to whatever my daddy Latta listen to. You know, Paula Abdul,.. you know, say, you know, like a da Bette Midlers. I mean, dem, dems good singers. But dese guys, dey're like "whiney, whiney"-- I don't know if I like dis. Oh man. Dey got some rockin' guitar, doh.
Song number four. Song number four is called, uh,.. I–X–A–T? "Ixat"? "Ixat"?!? I mean, I'm a dog-- I shouldn’t be able to read at all-- but I,.. I'm pretty sure dat's not a word. I–X–A–T. I'm pretty sure dat's not a word. Dey sound like dey got, like, a lil' girl singin' on dis one.
Look, guys, seriously-- I'm not so sure about Le Pepes. I tink I'm going to contact my lawyers and perhaps sue dem, because dey are dragging my name through da mud of crappy, collegey type a music, and I don't like it! Uh, dey don't respect me. Dey don't ask me for my permissions. I don't know. Why can't, like, you know, why can't, like, Jessica Simpson or, uh, or-- or like, uh, you know, or like some of dem call themselves Le Pepes? You know, beautiful singers. That'd be good. Like one a beautiful singers dat Latta de Saint listen to all da times, you know? Instead, dese guys call demselves Le Pepes, and dey suck! I dunno. It's kinda depressing hearing dis. Maybe some peoples like it. But dis doggie say, "No, sir! Thank you, but I’m suing you! Goodbye."