I TRIED TO SWIM LIKE THE ''MAN FROM ATLANTIS''

"There were 17 episodes of that show," says Kenneth Doyle, a skilled Xerox repairman who has been with the company for ten years. "It started on the 25th of September 1977, and officially 'jumped the shark' on the 25th of July, 1978."
"That's TV people talk for a show that was so bad it spoiled the series," Doyle confided. "And, Heaven help me, I would watch Man... every Tuesday night when it came on at eight o'clock. And every Saturday morning I was humping the water in the local pool, trying to mimic his ancient Atlantean swimming style. The other kids would laugh at me, and sometimes they beat me up and took away my fins. But I was determined to figure out how Mark Harris-- played by Patrick Duffy-- could move through the water like that. He could break chains with his chest!"
"I was hell-bent on winning. I was going to figure it out, and make all the other kids sorry they'd ever laughed at me. Maybe I'd get so famous they'd let me go on a date with Dr. Elizabeth Miller."
Played by Belinda J. Montgomery, Miller was the Navy research scientist attached to the project; unmarried, in her mid-thirties, slender, with big blue eyes and neatly coifed blonde hair that fueled Kenneth's young passions.
But Kenneth's dreams were shattered when he threw out his back, and nearly drowned. He recalls that moment with a shudder.
"It was a beautiful morning, yeah, and I was the first one in line at the pool. The other kids were all laughing and pushing me against the concrete dividers as we were waiting for the lifeguards to get to their chairs."
The turnstile opened. Doyle waved his card, paid his dime, and headed for the far end of the pool.
"I ran to the far end of the pool, and the lifeguard shouted at me to stop, but I didn't hear. See, you weren't supposed to run. They had signs up and everything. And then I slipped. My feet flew out from under me, I landed with a bone-jarring slam on the poolside, and then I fell into the water! I think I probably gave the lifeguard a heart attack," he chuckled. "The next thing I remember was being pulled out of the water with this foxy, soaking wet blonde giving me mouth-to-mouth. And right then, I forgot all about Man From Atlantis. In fact, I went on to date that pretty lifeguard, and we've been married for 20 years, so I guess I got the last laugh after all! And sometimes," he looked around, "she asks me to put on a pair of fins when we... you know."
Doyle went on to adjust the feed belt in the copier to "...keep all the papers from going through at the same time." He then cleaned off one of the rollers that was making a stripe on the entire document.