admin
22 December 2023
Dear Katy Rose,
So, I was, like, totally listening to your album, Because I Can, and, oh my gosh, I think America has found its answer to Avril Lavigne, which is why I demand my 40 minutes back. Instead of listening to your bubblegum angst, I could have been playing with a ball of lint, or masturbating to pictures of Oprah.
Now, Katy, I know I may sound like a big meanie, but to your credit, your songs are catchy. Then again, so is chlamydia. Your lyrics are flowery and frivolous, like in \"Enchanted\", where you whine: \"I broke my crown while kissing little flowers / I floated up the stairs and fell through the tower.\" Your sound is overproduced and formulaic. Your voice sounds repetitive, always in the same key, making the songs blend together.
And you sing about pain? You are 16 years old! What can you possibly know about true pain?!? If you would like, I can help provide inspiration by beating you within an inch of your life using only a steel dildo, and then you will truly be able to write about pain.
Your pal,
- Judas Cow
So, I was, like, totally listening to your album, Because I Can, and, oh my gosh, I think America has found its answer to Avril Lavigne, which is why I demand my 40 minutes back. Instead of listening to your bubblegum angst, I could have been playing with a ball of lint, or masturbating to pictures of Oprah.
Now, Katy, I know I may sound like a big meanie, but to your credit, your songs are catchy. Then again, so is chlamydia. Your lyrics are flowery and frivolous, like in \"Enchanted\", where you whine: \"I broke my crown while kissing little flowers / I floated up the stairs and fell through the tower.\" Your sound is overproduced and formulaic. Your voice sounds repetitive, always in the same key, making the songs blend together.
And you sing about pain? You are 16 years old! What can you possibly know about true pain?!? If you would like, I can help provide inspiration by beating you within an inch of your life using only a steel dildo, and then you will truly be able to write about pain.
Your pal,
- Judas Cow
artid
2485
Old Image
6_11_katyrose.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 11 (jul 2004)
section
entertainmental