ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER

Guess how I spent my Saturday night. (waiting) Okay, I'll tell you. I tried out doorknobs at the hardware store. I was at Home Depot when I happened upon this amazing doorknob display. They had this long row of revolving door pieces with rows of every kind of doorknob and handle you could possibly imagine, all mounted on these pieces of door. And they all worked! So I'm thinking, "Hmmm,..they must want you to try these out." What a genius idea! I don't know about you, but I sure as hell would wanna try out my doorknob before I bought it! I mean, that's a high performance piece of machinery! So I tried out every single doorknob, took notes, drew up schematics, and compared them to one another. I tested the aesthetic appeal, ergonomics (ease and smoothness of doorknob turn, ease of depression on thumb-levers of door handles), and mounting height (to make sure the angle of hand-to-door approach was correct for ease of use, optimum physical efficiency, and prevention of technique-related injuries). I tested many complex and multi-variable situations. If I'm coming home with two armloads of groceries, is this doorknob going to give me the performance I am looking for? I tried out every possible variation of doorknob and handle grab I could think of because you never know what type of technique and grab a doorknob or handle might call for. The salesman seemed to be very impressed with the depth and breadth of my insight into door opening apparatuses. I think doorknob and handle ergonomic mechanics is an incredibly underrated subject. Funny thing was, I wasn't there to look at doorknobs. And although I forgot what I was there for, it nonetheless was an incredibly life-changing and insightful experience. God works in mysterious ways.