CRAPLOAD?

You know, what exactly is a crapload? Is it just the mass of an average dump? I mean, one elephant turd alone is probably 40 pounds or something! What is the average mass of a human dump? I wonder if there are people whose job it is to figure out this stuff. What a shitty job! (Sorry. Bad pun.) I read somewhere that whales don't poop solid. Think about it-- if they did have turds, they would sink ships! It would be hard enough to navigate through icebergs, let alone six-ton whale turds. That would be pretty embarrassing to have to tell people that your ship was sunk by a whale turd. Imagine being an unsuspecting sea creature who happens to be near when a whale lets loose! That would suck trying to swim through a square mile of whale diarrhea. If you couldn’t tell, I think poop is the funniest thing in the world. One time in grade school my class went on a field trip to the zoo. They told us not to stare at the gorillas 'cuz it pisses them off. Well, of course this one kid wouldn't listen. So, this gorilla launches a fuckin' turd 80mph like Roger Clemens and it hits this kid square upside the head! It fully knocked the kid down and he got all freaked out and embarrassed and started crying and shit. It was one of the funniest things ever. Everyone called him “Shithead” the rest of the day and the teachers would try to tell us not to, but they would just start laughing. Well, I could go on a tangent about poop for another 20 minutes, but I should probably work now.