THESE GUYS LIKE BUNNIES!

I just listened to Hatebreed’s new album, Perseverance, last night. Wow! Those guys are really, really angry. Like that big old dog my neighbor across the street kept chained up in his front yard. Hatebreed is angry like that; a fat, smelly dog that bites children and pees on its front legs! I’ve been watching a lot of MTV this week, so I can tell that this album ROCKS! It’s really cool and mean. When I got to the song where they were like, “Destruction-- in its purest form, no limit to the vicious damage done,” I was ready to cry from all the coolness I was getting to hear. I’m not old enough to understand everything they’re talking about. But I know that the songs are about real deep stuff, like war and the president and growing up in the suburbs. Hatebreed’s songs have really awesome titles like “Bloodsoaked Memories”, “Smash Your Enemies”, and “Outro”. Pretty sweet, huh? A lot of the songs sound just like the music they play in those commercials for Wrestlemania and the new Vin Diesel movie. Vin Diesel is so great. I hope I can marry him when I turn eleven. Even better, after I got done with the CD, I went to bed and had these really weird dreams about Jesus running naked through an enchanted forest and killing all the furry little animals by biting their necks out. Radical! In the end, I think the best thing about Hatebreed’s new album, Perseverance, is that it has taught me how to be tough. From now on, when I go to school, I’m gonna wear a black t-shirt with a scary logo on it. And I’m gonna put on some super-baggy black jeans with a bicycle chain hanging out of the pocket. Then, if anybody in class tries to mess with me, I’ll just yell at them for being a part of “the system.” And then I’ll set them on fire, Attica-style.