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22 December 2023
HOLLYWOOD, CA - DreamWorks Pictures, not content with destroying only two of Dr. Seuss’ classic children’s books, has decided to cast comedian Tracy Morgan in their new screen abomination, The Lorax.
Morgan, who is moderately funny as the character "Astronaut Jones" on the otherwise horrific Saturday Night Live, is excited about the possibilities of completely raping the literary masterpiece to death.
“Mike (Myers) had been all tellin’ me about how dope it was to turn a 72-page, mostly illustrated children’s book into 90 minutes of him fuckin’ around," said Morgan of the forthcoming bastardization. "So I thought, ‘Well, shit, I wanna do that!’ So when I heard they were doin’ The Lorax, I was all like, ‘That’s me, motherfucker.’”
DreamWorks, who turned How The Grinch Stole Christmas and The Cat In the Hat into two of the biggest shitfests in recent memory, plans to have this train wreck of a film in theaters by August 2004.
Morgan, who is moderately funny as the character "Astronaut Jones" on the otherwise horrific Saturday Night Live, is excited about the possibilities of completely raping the literary masterpiece to death.
“Mike (Myers) had been all tellin’ me about how dope it was to turn a 72-page, mostly illustrated children’s book into 90 minutes of him fuckin’ around," said Morgan of the forthcoming bastardization. "So I thought, ‘Well, shit, I wanna do that!’ So when I heard they were doin’ The Lorax, I was all like, ‘That’s me, motherfucker.’”
DreamWorks, who turned How The Grinch Stole Christmas and The Cat In the Hat into two of the biggest shitfests in recent memory, plans to have this train wreck of a film in theaters by August 2004.
artid
1766
Old Image
6_3_lorax.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 03 (nov 2003)
section
stories