admin
22 December 2023
Hey, gang! Cold? I know I am. But I’m fighting off all this hypothermia with the help of a little thing called The Hun. It’s pretty amazing. For those of you who hate porno, it’s a website where you can study the human anatomy and its flexibility. For those of you who love porno, it’s Xanadu.
I like to “fight off hypothermia” first thing in the morning, as soon as I get in the office. Some days, the battle can last until lunch. Most days, the battle lasts about 36 seconds.
Today was an off day. I found myself kinda bored with what The Hun had to offer (a.k.a., “My wrists hurt.”), so I started surfing non-"anatomy study" sites, like nfl.com. I figure I should check in and see what the closet-gay community is up to. Turns out the NFL is NFLewd! In their “Analysis and Opinion” section, former Oakland Raider Art Shell penned this interesting piece about scrotums.
The title alone was enough for me to move on immediately. I would say it was the last thing I expected to see there, but then I remembered that football players like cock.
Tired of all that raw man-sex talk, I needed a palate cleanser. I figured a laugh would do the trick, so I headed on over to msnbc.com. Their “news” site has some of the funniest writers in the business. Emmanuel Lewis-- still president, still in whiteface-- spoke with the Crypt Keeper on Dateline or Nightline last night, to talk about our “big victory” in Iraq. In case you hadn’t heard, we found Charlie Manson in a spider hole. Time to bring him to justice, Texas-style! I’ll bet the people of Iraq finally had a good night’s sleep after that!
And if it wasn’t the Middle East in the news, it was Middle Earth! The final installment in the The Lord of the Rings trilogy hit theaters last night, and everyone’s talking about it. Even deaf people! (But they use their hands.) This third film’s called The Return of the King, and focuses on Elvis Presley's ‘68 Comeback Special. I can’t imagine him battling it out with Trogdor, Bilbo, and all those other small people. Seems kinda stupid.
Actually, I made all that up. Elvis isn’t really in the film. But, man, that would have been awesome!
I’ll leave you with all this, friends. I know it’s a lot to digest. Maybe next time we can set aside all this social commentary and get deep. Because I can get deep; so deep, I’ll put your ass to sleep!
Mazeltov!
- Vinnie
vinnie@tlchicken.com
I like to “fight off hypothermia” first thing in the morning, as soon as I get in the office. Some days, the battle can last until lunch. Most days, the battle lasts about 36 seconds.
Today was an off day. I found myself kinda bored with what The Hun had to offer (a.k.a., “My wrists hurt.”), so I started surfing non-"anatomy study" sites, like nfl.com. I figure I should check in and see what the closet-gay community is up to. Turns out the NFL is NFLewd! In their “Analysis and Opinion” section, former Oakland Raider Art Shell penned this interesting piece about scrotums.
The title alone was enough for me to move on immediately. I would say it was the last thing I expected to see there, but then I remembered that football players like cock.
Tired of all that raw man-sex talk, I needed a palate cleanser. I figured a laugh would do the trick, so I headed on over to msnbc.com. Their “news” site has some of the funniest writers in the business. Emmanuel Lewis-- still president, still in whiteface-- spoke with the Crypt Keeper on Dateline or Nightline last night, to talk about our “big victory” in Iraq. In case you hadn’t heard, we found Charlie Manson in a spider hole. Time to bring him to justice, Texas-style! I’ll bet the people of Iraq finally had a good night’s sleep after that!
And if it wasn’t the Middle East in the news, it was Middle Earth! The final installment in the The Lord of the Rings trilogy hit theaters last night, and everyone’s talking about it. Even deaf people! (But they use their hands.) This third film’s called The Return of the King, and focuses on Elvis Presley's ‘68 Comeback Special. I can’t imagine him battling it out with Trogdor, Bilbo, and all those other small people. Seems kinda stupid.
Actually, I made all that up. Elvis isn’t really in the film. But, man, that would have been awesome!
I’ll leave you with all this, friends. I know it’s a lot to digest. Maybe next time we can set aside all this social commentary and get deep. Because I can get deep; so deep, I’ll put your ass to sleep!
Mazeltov!
- Vinnie
vinnie@tlchicken.com
artid
1910
Old Image
6_5_elvis.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 05 (jan 2004)
section
stories