WAR CLEAN-UP EFFORT SPARKS MERCHANDISE LAUNCH

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to boost morale among the countless troops still stationed in post-war Iraq, the Bush administration announced Tuesday that they have teamed up with Johnson & Johnson to launch their newest product, Freedom Sacks®, on the market.
Designed to replace common body bags, Freedom Sacks® designate their contents as “more than mere casualties”.
“To be a soldier and fight for this country is one of the most noble things an American can do,” explained a jubilant President Bush yesterday. “We want to let these soldiers know that when they die-- and, oh yes, they will die-- we’re going to pay them the utmost respect and toss ‘em in a Freedom Sack.”
Each Freedom Sack® is specially lined with a scientifically developed cooling gel to preserve your deceased son or daughter, and comes in three different styles: “Stars 'n' Stripes”, “Bald Eagle”, and “Basic Camo”. Freedom Sacks® are available exclusively at all greater Container Store locations.