FREAK FILMS: DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR? CRITERION COLLECTION

Sometimes, in the wrapper choked aftermath of the Holidays, after all the books have been read, and all the special features and Easter eggs on all the DVDs have been watched, we are left with an emptiness. Some would say this feeling is the momentary realization that all the commercialism and materialistic greed that infests us all year is not a good way to live.
Well, to that I say, "HORSE PUSSY!"
It is really the lack of a substantial, meaningful possession that can truly define us as a human being. That one gift that glows with promise, that will heal us and make us whole again for the first time since childhood.
Of course, I am speaking of the Dude, Where’s My Car? Criterion Collection boxed set. Oh, sure, it may not exist yet. But with enough demand and prayers, it will come to be. Oh yes, it will come to be! Imagine a four-hour director's cut with full commentary by all the actors. Or a seven-hour behind-the-scenes documentary called "Dude, Where’s The Shibby?" The possibilities are endless!
Why should only so-called "classics" get the Criterion Special Editions? Dude, Where’s My Car? is the closest we’ve gotten in years to a Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and I think we deserve to see all the greatness that the director intended us to see. Email the fine people at Criterion, and ask for the Dude, Where’s My Car? Special Edition, so that maybe next Christmas we won’t all have to have that little moment of emptiness.
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