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22 December 2023
LITTLE ROCK, AR - Robert Winstadt, 31, and his girlfriend, Molly Cross, (whose age no longer matters because she's dead), were enjoying America's favorite television show, elimiDATE, when Cross suddenly had the need for a gastrointestinal purge.
Upon hearing the release, Winstadt jumped from the couch and screamed at Cross that they were not yet at "that stage in their relationship".
Neighbor Pearl Smythman, who heard the ruckus from her living room, explained, "He kept on shouting that they had only been dating for two months, and that it was too soon in the relationship to be so open with each other."
The shouting ended when Pearl heard the sound of a gunshot.
Although it is no excuse for Windstat's actions, according to research scientists at the Center for Lasting Intimate Relations (CLIR), it is proven that breaking wind in front of your partner in the first two trimesters of the relationship can be detrimental to its future.
Upon hearing the release, Winstadt jumped from the couch and screamed at Cross that they were not yet at "that stage in their relationship".
Neighbor Pearl Smythman, who heard the ruckus from her living room, explained, "He kept on shouting that they had only been dating for two months, and that it was too soon in the relationship to be so open with each other."
The shouting ended when Pearl heard the sound of a gunshot.
Although it is no excuse for Windstat's actions, according to research scientists at the Center for Lasting Intimate Relations (CLIR), it is proven that breaking wind in front of your partner in the first two trimesters of the relationship can be detrimental to its future.
artid
1997
Old Image
6_6_fartchart.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 06 (feb 2004)
section
stories