CAP'N BOOTY'S TOYBOX

There's nothing like a model ship to warm a tired pirate's heart. Especially when there's a big ass shark eating it. Yes, those crazy toymakers at McFarlane Toys (a company renowned for their meticulous detail) have outdone themselves again with the Jaws playset. Inspired by the dramatic climax of the movie, this playset very accurately and violently depicts the final moments of the shark hunter Quint in the mouth of the gigantic beast. Wow! When you're done feeding tiny Quint to the shark, he can be removed and placed in provocative poses. For those really special moments, the little sailor's body breaks in two pieces, creating hours of fun. Dig that crazy seaman's innards! If the big, blood covered shark and tiny Quint still haven't hooked you, the amazing recreation of the Orca's every detail will. From the small shark jaws hung below the tiny pivoting helm light to the cabin furniture, nothing has been excluded. God bless those wacky toymakers. It is a shame that such an elaborate set would have flaws, but unfortunately this one has two: Hooper and Chief Brody. Where the hell are they? I could understand why Hooper was neglected. That cowardly little bastard hid under the water while his mighty Captain was being devoured. If he was my first mate, I'd have him flogged and keelhauled, that panty waist! But no Brody? There's no excuse. His accessory could have been that great chum bucket. Oh, the forgotten possibilities. With a retail price of $25, this gem could have easily received a 9.9. However, with no crew for Captain Quint to order around, I give it an 8.9.