admin
22 December 2023
LOMPOC, CA - Local authorities made a grisly discovery last Thursday after a standoff with suspected serial kidnapper Wade Gerwin ended violently.
Upon inspecting Gerwin’s home, police found a number of bodies buried in the dirt floor of his basement. After matching the dental records, one especially decomposed specimen has been identified as Skeeter, twin sister of The Muppets' stage manager, Scooter.
Skeeter had been missing since May 1976, after a heated argument with her brother prompted her to abandon her position as talent coordinator for The Muppet Show. Prior to that, she and the other Muppets were inseparable, having been best friends since infancy.
Scooter made the following statement to the press: “I love my sister, and I wish she had never left. But at the same time, I’m glad I finally know what happened to her. So many years of uncertainty, of wondering where she was, expecting every phone call to be her telling me she was okay. I never let it affect my work, but it’s been tearing away at my insides every day since, like a dark, ominous hand being thrust though my torso and into my head. After all these years, I’m glad to finally know.”
Muppet Labs' forensic division placed Skeeter’s death at sometime between January and February of 1996. However, even after lab assistant Beaker somehow became locked in the storage freezer with the corpse while Dr. Bunsen Honeydew was away at lunch, a cause of death has yet to be determined.
Upon inspecting Gerwin’s home, police found a number of bodies buried in the dirt floor of his basement. After matching the dental records, one especially decomposed specimen has been identified as Skeeter, twin sister of The Muppets' stage manager, Scooter.
Skeeter had been missing since May 1976, after a heated argument with her brother prompted her to abandon her position as talent coordinator for The Muppet Show. Prior to that, she and the other Muppets were inseparable, having been best friends since infancy.
Scooter made the following statement to the press: “I love my sister, and I wish she had never left. But at the same time, I’m glad I finally know what happened to her. So many years of uncertainty, of wondering where she was, expecting every phone call to be her telling me she was okay. I never let it affect my work, but it’s been tearing away at my insides every day since, like a dark, ominous hand being thrust though my torso and into my head. After all these years, I’m glad to finally know.”
Muppet Labs' forensic division placed Skeeter’s death at sometime between January and February of 1996. However, even after lab assistant Beaker somehow became locked in the storage freezer with the corpse while Dr. Bunsen Honeydew was away at lunch, a cause of death has yet to be determined.
artid
2205
Old Image
6_8_skeeter.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 08 (apr 2004)
section
stories