admin
22 December 2023
TUCSON, AZ - For years, the scientific community has accepted the idea of a giant Jurassic landmass known as "Pangea". Last Thursday, at The International Scientific Conference, a new theory on the origin of the seven continents was presented to the... okay, I think Wayne has stopped reading this. Please, help. I have been kidnapped by an "Insane" magazine editor.
For the last seven months I have been forced to write morally demeaning articles while living in a 3'x3' closet. Living on only uncooked rice and condensation from one of the overhead water pipes, I have managed to stay alive. I am unsure of my captor’s motives, but can only say that I am physically and emotionally exhausted from the daily "tap dancing for rice" and "writing stories to have excrement removed from my cubicle" rigmarole.
Please contact the proper authorities so that I may once again enjoy the many pleasures of being free. I think Wayne sometimes likes to read the endings, so... "And that is why we can firmly say that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Pangea did not have a delicious nougat center," said Bartholomew Spander, a leading international scientist.
For the last seven months I have been forced to write morally demeaning articles while living in a 3'x3' closet. Living on only uncooked rice and condensation from one of the overhead water pipes, I have managed to stay alive. I am unsure of my captor’s motives, but can only say that I am physically and emotionally exhausted from the daily "tap dancing for rice" and "writing stories to have excrement removed from my cubicle" rigmarole.
Please contact the proper authorities so that I may once again enjoy the many pleasures of being free. I think Wayne sometimes likes to read the endings, so... "And that is why we can firmly say that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Pangea did not have a delicious nougat center," said Bartholomew Spander, a leading international scientist.
artid
2224
Old Image
6_8_pangea.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 08 (apr 2004)
section
cover story