BLONDIE - THE CURSE OF BLONDIE

Okay, you know what? I’m sick of all of these bands doing this goddamn retro late-Seventies/early-Eighties thing now.
"Oh, look at us! We’re wearing tight, faded t-shirts that we paid American Eagle $40 for, and we all need haircuts! We play raw Seventies rock and/or synthesized Eighties pop! Aren’t we cool?"
No. You’re not. Buy a shirt that fits, and get a fucking haircut.
I lived through some of the Seventies and all of the Eighties, and, believe me, it wasn’t even cool then, and it sure as hell isn’t cool now. Honestly. I remember people even back then looking into mirrors, and saying, "Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me?"
So, for me, for your mother, for music, for God/Allah/Buddha/Freddie Mercury, just knock it the fuck off. There are a very, very select few who can pull it off, and you, my friend, are not one of them.
Debbie Harry, however, is.
That’s right, Debbie Harry. As in Debbie Harry of Blondie.
Back in 1999, Blondie attempted a "reunion" CD of sorts called No Exit. Oh, you missed it? Don’t be surprised, because most people did. The album got little to no good press, because, well, it sounded as if it were a bunch of people that hadn’t played together in nearly 20 years. Because they hadn’t.
However, their newest offering, The Curse Of Blondie, is pretty goddamn good. What’s good about it is that if you liked old Blondie, you’ll like this Blondie. It’s not as if Debbie and the gang are now trying keep things "young and hip". They’re doing what they do best, which is create poppy, fun rock that sounds as if it were made at the height of their career.
That’s not to say that the album is without fault. The opening track, "Shakedown", is a weird way to start off the album, with Debbie doing some bizarre poem/rap thing that reminds me of MC Chris or one of the guys from the old Camp Kill Yourself videos. And I can also do without the single off the album, "Good Boys". It serves its purpose, I guess, which is to be a poppy, radio-friendly song that the masses will enjoy. I, however, got bored with it very quickly.
The finer aspects of the album happen after the second track. "Undone" is a poppy little number that harkens back to the vibe of "Sunday Girl". "Background Melody (The Only One)" is a soft and well-paced tune that sounds like it could be playing out of a car stereo in 1984. "The Tingler" uses a synthesized xylophone sound that just reeks of the early years of MTV. And "Songs Of Love" wraps the disc up nicely, with a slow and sexy sound that exits with a little bit of saxophone.
So, I guess, Blondie is back. And I’m very thankful that they came back doing what they know, as opposed to trying to capture a new audience. If you liked ‘em before, you’ll like ‘em now. Because they’re not waxing Eighties pop. They are Eighties pop. Unlike most of the poseurs out there today.