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22 December 2023
HEAVEN - Following U.S. President George W. Bush’s apparent policy of \"kill \'em all, let God sort \'em out\" concerning both military forces and civilians in Iraq, God Almighty has publicly announced that He is unable to cope with His greatly increased workload.
\"I mean, most of these have been pretty easy: Hell, Hell, Purgatory, Hell... but, seriously, I’ve been working 12 to 14 hour days for the past year,\" said God of the influx of souls to the afterlife. \"I even had to start coming in on Sundays! Can you believe it? Me! Seriously, George, fucking knock it off. You’re really not helping your case for when it’s your time.\"
When asked when the President’s time would actually be, The Lord replied, \"Are you serious? You’re talking to God here. You could ask Me anything about all the mysteries of creation, and all you want to know is when the President is gonna die? Retard.\"
\"I mean, most of these have been pretty easy: Hell, Hell, Purgatory, Hell... but, seriously, I’ve been working 12 to 14 hour days for the past year,\" said God of the influx of souls to the afterlife. \"I even had to start coming in on Sundays! Can you believe it? Me! Seriously, George, fucking knock it off. You’re really not helping your case for when it’s your time.\"
When asked when the President’s time would actually be, The Lord replied, \"Are you serious? You’re talking to God here. You could ask Me anything about all the mysteries of creation, and all you want to know is when the President is gonna die? Retard.\"
artid
2303
Old Image
6_9_godunable.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 09 (may 2004)
section
stories