AN HONEST TO GOD TRUE INSTANT MESSAGE

Wayne: So, tell me something that is new with you.
Mercedes: Well, let\'s see.
Mercedes: Oh, here\'s Stephanie\'s story that I was telling you about before.
Wayne: Go for it.
Mercedes: So, she\'s been chatting on the Internet with this guy for a few months now. Maybe half a year. They met on a dating service! Haha! She was in Vienna, he was in San Francisco. Anyway, they talked, liked each other, started talking on the phone, etc.
Wayne: And now they\'re married!
Mercedes: She liked him, but there was one problem. He was of Indian descent-- Asian Indian-- and she has a real physical problem with Indian men.
Wayne: What?
Wayne: Like, what is the problem?
Mercedes: She just isn\'t attracted to Indian guys. But she thought, \"I\'m just being stupid. I\'m not going to pay any attention to that. He\'s a great guy. Besides, he doesn\'t look that bad in his pictures.\"
Mercedes: So, one day, he tells her she should come to San Francisco to visit. She said, \"Well, why don\'t you come to Vienna? Why do I have to buy a ticket and go visit you?\"
Wayne: Right. So?
Mercedes: And he said, \"Because when we get married, you\'re obviously going to move here, so you should see everything.\"
Mercedes: So she bought a ticket to San Francisco, flew over there, and the minute she saw him at the airport, she was horrified at how ugly he was. He was about ten times as ugly as in the pictures.
Mercedes: And he was thinking they were already engaged or something.
Wayne: Haha!
Mercedes: He kept trying to kiss her, and was calling her \"honey\". And in the car, he was trying to get her to tell him if she found him attractive. She tried to get out of answering it.
Wayne: Man.
Wayne: That is a bad situation.
Mercedes: But when they arrived at his house, she just confronted him, and told him it wouldn\'t work, and she\'s just not attracted to him. She asked if they could just be friends.
Wayne: The worst!
Mercedes: He fell on the floor, and started crying!
Mercedes: It was so bad.
Wayne: Hahahahaha!
Wayne: I love other people\'s misery!
Mercedes: He was like, \"But we\'re engaged! Can\'t you just try and like me?\"
Wayne: Oh, man.
Mercedes: She was kinda scared, because she was all alone with no money with this weirdo in San Francisco.
Mercedes: She told him she was really tired, and wanted to sleep. But he only had one big bed, so she slept on the sofa. But he kept waking her up every two hours, crying, trying to change her mind.
Mercedes: And then he\'d look in the mirror and be like, \"I\'m not that ugly! I\'m good-looking. Why can\'t you just find me attractive?\"
Wayne: Hahaha!
Mercedes: Oh, and then he told her to feel his hair-- he had a ponytail. So she did, and was like, \"Hmmm... you have very thick hair.\" Then he became upset again, because he thought she would find it \"sensual\", and like him because of his hair.
Mercedes: It was bad!
Mercedes: So, after 48 hours, she called her friend Michael in Los Angeles, and he bought her a ticket to come down here. Next day, I got a call from her.
Mercedes: It was such a funny story.
Wayne: Hahaha!
Mercedes: She was embarrassed, but I told her she should make use of the story, because it\'s so great.
Wayne: That is fucked up!
Wayne: Dude, I love it.
Wayne: I love it.
Wayne: Yeah, she should write that in a story.
Mercedes: My life isn\'t nearly that weird.