THE HIP HOP BOX

Of course, the day that I send out a word count cap on reviews for Entertainmental (300 words, if you\'re curious), I get a goddamn four-disc set that catalogues 25 years of hip-hop and rap. Damn.
How in the hell am I supposed to review four CDs-- some 50 songs-- in 300 words? Especially since I\'ve already used up 61 with this part alone.
\"You don\'t have to worry about the word count,\" said Vinnie Baggadonuts, Entertainmental section editor.
Too true. This is my McDonald\'s, after all.
So, I guess I will take a few freedoms with this word count. Especially since I have to do this kick-ass box set justice.
I\'ve broken down the four discs for you, one by one.
Disc One, or \"Wayne\'s Elementary School Years Disc\" - Starting out with The Sugar Hill Gang\'s \"Rapper\'s Delight\", this disc brings the memories flooding back to me. Possibly my favorite disc of the batch, it features Afrika Bambaataa, Kurtis Blow, Grand Master Flash, Run-DMC, and Kool Moe Dee. And, as if that weren\'t good enough, it\'s got Salt-N-Pepa\'s \"Push It\". Goddamn. If you\'re a fan of the stuff that started it all, you\'ll be down with this.
Disc Two, or \"Wayne\'s Middle School Years Disc\" - Yeah! Some kids danced to AC/DC\'s \"Back In Black\" at their middle school dances. I, however, shook my ass to the likes of Eric B. & Rakim\'s \"Follow The Leader\". (Hey, what do you expect? I went to Jackie B. Robinson Middle School. Dig?) This disc is also full of goodies from Boogie Down Productions, Ice-T, The 2 Live Crew, and the amazing Public Enemy. Also, there is the only good song ever made by M.C. Hammer. No, not \"Addams Groove\"-- \"Turn This Mutha Out\". Throw in Tribe\'s \"I Left My Wallet In El Segundo\", and you\'ve got sixth through eighth grade.
Disc Three, or \"Wayne\'s High School Years Disc\" - Man. You know, now I really feel old. I mean, seriously. You would think the earlier stuff would make me feel old, but this takes the cake. Mainly because I remember most of my high school time, as opposed to my earlier years. Naughty By Nature wants to know if I\'m down with \"O.P.P.\" Yeah, you know me. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince offer up \"Summertime\". And then we\'ve got classics from Black Sheep, Arrested Development, Digable Planets, The Pharcyde (one of my all-time faves), Onyx, and Wu-Tang. Nicey nice.
Disc Four, or \"Wayne\'s College/Post-College Years Disc\" - You know, I have to admit that around this time in my life, I started to listen to different hip-hop and rap. So, most of the stuff on the fourth disc is stuff I\'m either not familiar with, or not a fan of. Of course, there are a handful of jams, like Dre and Snoop\'s \"The Next Episode\", The Roots\' \"You Got Me (Live)\", and Common\'s \"The Light\". But, for the most part, I had departed from the world of this kind of hip-hop by this point. So I really don\'t dig on the likes of 50 Cent or Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. I\'m sure they\'re fine pieces of lyrical genius in their own right, but they were just never my bag.
You would think that a comprehensive collection like this would be hyping up hip-hop like crazy; tooting its own horn, pointing out how awesome it is. But, oddly enough, its kind of the opposite. Following an intro by Chuck D, author Michael A. Gonzales writes a piece about hip-hop that is more, \"Ah, the good old days of hip-hop, when it was fresh and new. What the fuck happened?\" than it is, \"All hip-hop is awesome\". Which is appropriate, really, because not all hip-hop is awesome. And that\'s why this amazing set has narrowed it down for you. So, if you grew up with the beat, you\'ll dig this set. But if your first school dance kiss was to a Great White song, you may want to pass.
Damn. I fucking killed that word count, didn\'t I?