WALKING CONCERT - RUN TO BE BORN

Strike one: the band\'s name is Walking Concert. Now, I really shouldn\'t be making fun of poorly-chosen names, but Walking Concert is, without a doubt, the worst name for a band in the history of the world. Ever. Were they afraid people wouldn\'t understand that they\'re a music group? Not only that, but it\'s a pretty bold statement to claim to be a walking concert. I\'d seriously like to take these guys up on that boast. If I ever run into them on the streets of wherever the fuck they\'re from, I\'m gonna be like, \"Do a show! Now!\" And if they don\'t turn into a concert like that, I think I might start throwing punches. That\'s false advertising.
Strike two: the title of the disc is Run To Be Born. I\'m serious. Even as I\'m typing this, I\'m having to re-read it just to make sure I got that right. Run To Be Born?!? Are they trying to trick dyslexic Bruce Springsteen fans into buying their album? That\'s pretty low. Shame on them.
And I haven\'t even mentioned the music yet. The words \"safe\" and \"mellow\" don\'t even begin to describe these dudes. If Disney needed a song for the soundtrack of their next live action movie starring Emilio Estevez or Hilary Duff, they need to look no further than Walking Concert. No suggestive themes in these lyrics. No, sir. I had to listen to track seven (\"The Animals\") twice, to make sure that it wasn\'t some dirty double entendre like \"Love Rollercoaster\" by the Ohio Players. But it turns out they\'re seriously singing about a day at Six Flags Great Adventure: \"If we don\'t get to sit next to each other / On the safari ride, I\'m gonna mind.\" These guys make \"I Want To Hold Your Hand\" seem risque.
Three strikes. You\'re out of my stereo.