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22 December 2023
TUCSON, AZ - The human race was rocked with tragedy Wednesday as a local man, 47-year-old James \"Sneakers\" McGillicutty, entered the \"EXIT\" door at a local BP gas station.
\"The flagrant disobedience of the natural way of things has caused serious ramifications in the space/time continuum,\" explains astrophysicist Dr. Hamato Yoshi. When asked to elaborate, the doctor made a quiet fart noise with his mouth and exited the room.
\"The \'EXIT\' sign is clearly marked,\" laments Poonjab, the manager of the BP. \"How could such a tragedy have occurred?\" After a wail of impotent rage and sorrow, Poonjab left to stock the pre-made turkey sandwiches.
As the Bush Administration\'s Homeland Security looks into possible terrorist connections, \"Sneakers\" McGillicutty is said to be going about his everyday life, blissfully unaware of the chaos his unawareness has caused.
\"The flagrant disobedience of the natural way of things has caused serious ramifications in the space/time continuum,\" explains astrophysicist Dr. Hamato Yoshi. When asked to elaborate, the doctor made a quiet fart noise with his mouth and exited the room.
\"The \'EXIT\' sign is clearly marked,\" laments Poonjab, the manager of the BP. \"How could such a tragedy have occurred?\" After a wail of impotent rage and sorrow, Poonjab left to stock the pre-made turkey sandwiches.
As the Bush Administration\'s Homeland Security looks into possible terrorist connections, \"Sneakers\" McGillicutty is said to be going about his everyday life, blissfully unaware of the chaos his unawareness has caused.
artid
2681
Old Image
7_1_exit.jpg
issue
vol 7 - issue 01 (sep 2004)
section
stories