JEREMY'S TOYBOX PRESENTS: GHOSTBUSTERS

When I was in third grade (in the year 1985), there was one thing I wanted more than anything (besides a real working lightsaber)... Ghostbusters action figures. Well, it never happened. I guess some big wig somewhere thought it was a bad idea to make toys from a movie that used phrases like “I have seen shit that would turn you white,” or, “It’s true, this man has no dick.” What nerve!

Finally, with the creation of a pretty good Saturday morning cartoon, we got some toys. They were okay for the time, but they just weren’t the same. I wanted Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and that other guy, crossing the streams against the dreaded Gozer. Years slowly ticked by and no toys were made. It just seemed like it would never happen.

Twenty years have finally gone by since the movie was released, and the dream is now a reality. Sort of.

This year, NECA brings you the ghosts of Ghostbusters in a really cool set of figures. The set includes Slimer, Gozer (in its glorious Eighties chic), both Terror Dogs, and an 18” tall Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man with a real bad attitude. After taking a gander at these bad boys, I was glad they took so long to make them. There is just no way these toys could have been made in the Eighties. Each one is a true marvel, wonderfully sculpted and fabulously painted.

It is really hard to pick a favorite in this collection. Slimer probably inches his way to the top with his numerous accessories and really sweet display stand. He comes with a whole turkey with removable legs, a pie, a plate of luncheon meat, a loaf of French bread, an apple, a big slice of watermelon and a bottle of Chateau Venkman, vintage 1984. That’s a lot of great stuff to lose! The stand is the topper though. It’s basically a large transparent green slime trail that pools on the ground and plugs into his buttocks. Pretty clever.

Speaking of his gluteus maximus, it really caught me off guard when I pulled him out of the package. It’s really creepy. Slimer looks like a giant moldy potato with a disgustingly well defined, beefy ass. Add that to the fact that the whole figure is kind of squishy and there is a long column of slime coming out of his crack, and it\'s just too much for an immature man-child to handle.

Slimer is a great start, but it still doesn’t fill the void. I need four professionals to bust my ghosts, and as luck would have it, Series two will provide me with that chance. But, maybe not quite the way you want.

NECA has stated on their site that the Ghostbustin\' quartet will be in the next series, but they haven’t decided whether they will be realistic in conception, or stylized. To me, that sounds like a licensing issue. I know that Akroyd and Ramis wanted to make action figures since the first movie came out, and I just can’t see Ernie Hudson passing up on some extra money from a licensing deal. What has he done lately?

No, the only one I see having a problem with it would be Murray. It’s easy to have integrity when you were just nominated for an Oscar. Well, I for one hope the deal can be made and I can get some more toys because, in case you weren\'t aware, the Earth revolves around me. So, who ya gonna call? Bill Murray. And get him to sign off on the damn toys already!