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22 December 2023
HOLLYWOOD, CA - The death of longtime entertainer Johnny Carson officially became obnoxious last Thursday, according to a large percentage of the population of Earth.
\"I know it\'s sad that he died or whatever, but come on! Let it go!\" said Teresa Valdez, an annoyed 37-year-old mother of two. \"Three weeks ago I didn\'t know jack shit about Carson, but now I feel like a Carson connoisseur. I know how many wives he had, what his percentage of royalties were from The Tonight Show, and what his favorite vegetable was! Who cares?!?\"
Sentiment is similar across the globe.
Benga Towanta, a tribesman from Tanzania, had this to say: \"Blik clik tok chak meka bant wa shtaka wa!\" Translated, Towanta stated, \"I feel like I could write a fucking biography on Carson with all the shit I\'ve learned about him these past two weeks, and I don\'t even own a TV!\"
In a recent poll, Carson\'s death was voted the second most obnoxious death in the history of time, second only to the death of late president Ronald Reagan.
\"I know it\'s sad that he died or whatever, but come on! Let it go!\" said Teresa Valdez, an annoyed 37-year-old mother of two. \"Three weeks ago I didn\'t know jack shit about Carson, but now I feel like a Carson connoisseur. I know how many wives he had, what his percentage of royalties were from The Tonight Show, and what his favorite vegetable was! Who cares?!?\"
Sentiment is similar across the globe.
Benga Towanta, a tribesman from Tanzania, had this to say: \"Blik clik tok chak meka bant wa shtaka wa!\" Translated, Towanta stated, \"I feel like I could write a fucking biography on Carson with all the shit I\'ve learned about him these past two weeks, and I don\'t even own a TV!\"
In a recent poll, Carson\'s death was voted the second most obnoxious death in the history of time, second only to the death of late president Ronald Reagan.
artid
2951
Old Image
7_6_carson.jpg
issue
vol 7 - issue 06 (feb 2005)
section
cover story