NEW YORK, NY - The CEOs of five of the largest automobile companies-- Ford, Buick, Honda, Volkswagen, and Dodge-- held a press conference in New York last Tuesday, begging the musician Moby to make another album.
\"Please, Mr. Moby,\" pleaded Takeo Fukui, the CEO of Honda, \"make another album so our companies can continue to use your songs in our commercials.\"
The sentiment from Ford\'s CEO, Bill Ford, Jr., was similar: \"We\'re completely tapped out here. I mean, between our five companies, we\'ve used every song on both 1999\'s Play and his 2002 release, 18. We\'re desperate! Something has to give!\"
Analysts predict that the future of the automobile industry rests in Moby\'s hands. \"It\'s bad news all the way around,\" stated Rick DeBonte, an analyst hired by the five automobile companies. \"No more songs from Moby means no more car commercials. No more car commercials mean no more sales. No more sales mean no more cars. And no more cars mean total chaos across the globe.\"
Moby couldn\'t be reached for comment by time of print, but his publicist stated he would get back to us just as soon as he was done \"...bathing in his royalty checks.\"