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22 December 2023
MILWAUKEE, WI - The staff of popular humor magazine tastes like chicken has received a writing submission which they are unsure in which section to include it. The disputed article raises a number of questions about the exact definitions of the \"Stories\" and \"Pen & Think\" sections of the publication.
\"Well, the article begins with a dateline, so you would initially think it’s a news story,\" said Wayne Chinsang, tastes like chicken Editor-in-Chief. \"But it goes on for about 700 words. Longer writing usually goes in Pen & Think.\"
\"Is the difference between Stories and Pen & Think based entirely on word count?\" argued Staff Member #716, co-editor of the Stories section. \"I mean, you\'ve written columns that go on for over 800 words, and we’ve run them in the Stories section.\"
\"But the author sent the article to my email address,\" added Night Watchman, Pen & Think section editor. \"I think it was his intention for it to go in Pen & Think.\"
\"That isn’t really an indicator,\" replied Staff Member #716. \"Submissions are sent to the wrong editor all the time. But if he did intend for it to be a Pen & Think, then he doesn’t have a clear grasp of the purpose of the section. Just because he wants it to be a Pen & Think doesn’t mean that it is. Jeremy Scott submitted that Optimus Prime letter as a Pen & Think last August, but it didn’t mean he was right.\"
\"I don’t think any of us really have a clear grasp of the section. Just what is Pen & Think? True, the writing in it is usually longer than you’d find in the Stories section. But what separates something like Bethany’s Arrested Development editorial from something written by Smokin\' Joe Blow? Is Pen & Think just a section for short fiction, then?\"
\"Again, last August: we ran that Eddie Bourbon, Ninja to the Stars thing in the Stories section, and that was short fiction. I’ve always assumed that the difference is that Stories are humor articles, but Pen & Think is for writing that makes some sort of observation or point. For Wayne to say that it’s all based on length implies that Pen & Think is simply meant to be filler, which it most definitely is not. Most of our strongest writing consistently comes from Pen & Think.\"
\"Yahweh’s articles almost always make a point or have some kind of political message to them,\" interjected Wayne. \"But we still print them as Stories, because they’re written with a humorous voice. The same goes for this.\"
\"But we’ve run Pen & Thinks that have been funny, too. Remember that one in January about the guy\'s mom breaking her foot?\" replied Night Watchman.
\"Yeah. And I still say that should’ve been in the Stories section.\"
\"It was a Pen & Think because it explained why that kid turned out the way he did. Kind of the same way this new submission sheds some light on the discrepancies between the sections of our magazine. Besides, it contains a lot of back-and-forth dialogue, it’s very character-driven-- I still say it’s a Pen & Think.\"
\"It contains a lot of stuff,\" Staff Member #716 began. \"It’s heavy on dialogue, true, but it’s still written extremely tongue-in-cheek, somewhat sarcastically. I mean, the author could mention in the article that Feersum Ennjin, the self-titled album from Paul D’Amour’s new band, perfectly illustrates why Tool was better off without him. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that a 700-word article is suddenly a CD review, right?\"
Night Watchman agreed. \"I think the determining factor would definitely have to be the way the article ends. You can usually determine an author’s intention by the way he concludes the story-- you know, what he leaves the reader with.\"
Discussions about the article in question continued until the magazine’s deadline, at which point it was placed in the Pen & Think section to the disapproval of almost half the staff. It was never entirely determined what the author’s intentions were, but there comes a point when action simply must be taken.
artid
3090
Old Image
7_9_cantdecide.jpg
issue
vol 7 - issue 09 (may 2005)
section
pen_think