I might have a little trouble getting my column in to you on time this month. Last night I watched ten officers take down some guy firing a machine gun out in front of my apartment. I assure you this was nothing like the time I told you the bear got into my refrigerator, or the time somebody put something in my drink. This really happened.
I mean, all of those things really happened, and I was always late for good reason. But this sort of troubled my being, if you know what I mean. Either way, I\'m going to be about an hour outside of Nashville in an abandoned barn for a while. I\'m taking a correspondence course about learning piano tuning, and I\'ve got some liquid companionship, so there\'s no need to worry about me.
I should be back in the office in a few weeks, fresh and ready for the next issue. Why don\'t you just re-run that column I did comparing blowjobs to Henrik Ibsen\'s Enemy of the State? That was a pretty good one.
By the way, do you know anyone who needs their piano tuned?
Best,
- Franklin Furter
HAVING PROBLEMS WITH MATTERS OF YOUR HEART? EMAIL FRANKLIN HERE FOR ALL THE ANSWERS.