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22 December 2023
One is a certifiable genius. The other is Vinnie. Together, they are two of the most brilliant inventors in all of Pangaea. Wayne recognized this, and has given them a column to share with you the wonders of their progressive, modern minds.
THIS PART WAS WRITTEN BY VINNIE
Oh, come on now. Did you really think Wayne was going to let us take another vacation after our little jaunt to Wrestlevania a few months ago? I don’t think so. Wayne has about as much compassion and understanding as a U.N. peacekeeping battalion... or Kim Jong Il.
So, #716 and I are left here in the office alone, where all you can hear is the sound of us, hard at work. And if you’re near #716’s cubicle, work sounds a whole hell of a lot like Tetris.
Guess I’ll just have to wait until next year to take another holiday.
THIS PART WAS WRITTEN BY #716
Yep. No vacations for us. That little excursion me and Vinnie took back in April has left me seriously behind schedule, so I\'m gonna use this month to catch up.
So what am I behind on? Let\'s see... I was supposed to review The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy movie last month:
\"Damn good. The Vogon puppets built by the Henson Creature Shop looked exponentially more realistic than anything a computer could generate. They were so realistic, the dumb hoochie-mama sitting next to me couldn\'t refrain from saying, \'Ooh, I bet his braff stank!\' every time a Vogon was on screen.\"
And I wanted to review the new Star Wars flick, despite actually having to buy my ticket in lieu of a press pass:
\"It\'s official: Mace Windu is the most pointless character in all of Star Wars. His accomplishments across the span of the entire trilogy are as follows: he sat in a chair, cut off Jango Fett\'s head, and fell out of a window. Jar Jar served more of a purpose than Mace Windu.\"
Okay, movie reviews are done. I suppose I should get back to that \"research\" I was doing for me and Das Bork\'s video game column. It\'s grueling, I tell you.
artid
3165
Old Image
7_10_vin716.jpg
issue
vol 7 - issue 10 (jun 2005)
section
stories