EDITOR\'S NOTE: Over the past eight years that we\'ve done this rag we\'ve had our fair share of bizarre stories and fan mail. This, however, is a first.
Approximately a month ago we received the following story as a submission. That alone isn\'t really that big of a deal, as we get quite a few submissions sent in to us. But what is a big deal is the fact that this fan, Heather N. Strasser, is a ten-year-old girl that lives in Florida. That\'s a photo of her above, pointing to Bill Gates\' secret Windows panel of buttons.
It seems as if Heather\'s mother turned her on to TLC, which I\'m fairly certain is considered neglect in most states. But hey, I\'m all about getting \'em hooked at a young age!
So here you have it: this month\'s cover story from our youngest reader and submitter to date. Enjoy! And thanks for sending the story in, Heather! We appreciate it!
Word.
- Wayne Chinsang
What is Bill Gates\' Windows really used for? You might say for his billion-dollar fortune, but no. Bill Gates\' Windows was actually built to hypnotize people into building him a disco pad private island getaway, and his billion-dollar fortune, too.
As you are reading this now, hundreds of thousands of people across the world are being hypnotized and are leaving their homes, businesses, and schools to go work on a private island somewhere in the Caribbean Sea. The island is somewhere around the size of Jamaica, and is called Microsand!
The island includes a disco castle the size of Walt Disney World-- all four parks-- and is seven stories high! Inside there is one indoor pool/jacuzzi, one floor of discoland, one kitchen/dining room the size of an average-sized family room, one master bedroom (one whole floor), twelve suites, and ten bathrooms. There is also a town where the hypnotized people live. There is a grocery store, a mall, a police station, a fire station, a hospital, and homes.
If you think that someone is hypnotized, follow these steps:
1. Look in the person’s eyes and see if you can see little red swirls spinning.
2. Ask the person to walk around, and see if he/she walks with their legs shooting in the air and with their arms outstretched.
3. Ask he/she who is the ruler of the world. If he/she answers \"Bill Gates\", then put them in a straightjacket and chain them to a chair!