AIR – POCKET SYMPHONY (Astralwerks)
What I loved so much about this French duo when they debuted nearly a decade ago was that they managed to perfectly mix a soft and sultry sound with funky and soulful sensibilities. Unfortunately, it feels like every album since Moon Safari has lost a little bit of its funk, and Pocket Symphony is void of it almost entirely. Of course, their signature airy (no pun intended) sound is still there, but this album lacks the soul of its predecessors, and can easily be categorized as “just another Air album”. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. But I was just hoping for something a bit more; something I could love and not just like.
RATING: THREE STARS
ARMY OF ME – CITIZEN (Doghouse Records)
The opening track of this album, “Perfect”, contains the following lyrics: “One day I’ll be perfect / I’ll be so extraordinary / I will shine / I will radiate.” I’d like to take this opportunity to let the band in on a little secret: No, you won’t be.
RATING: ONE STAR
JOHNNY CASH – CASH | ULTIMATE GOSPEL (Sony)
I’m torn: I love Johnny Cash, but I’m also a proud-as-fuck, card-carrying atheist. So while I do dig most of the two-dozen songs collected here (particularly “(There’ll Be) Peace In The Valley (For Me)”, “Oh Come, Angel Band”, and “Amazing Grace”), I also find it hard to not roll my eyes at some of the more… I don’t know... Jesus-loving tunes (like the opening track “Here Was A Man”). So, yeah, the CD is good, but I prefer my Johnny Cash with a bit more piss and vinegar, a loaded firearm, and a bottle of booze.
RATING: THREE STARS
K-OS – ATLANTIS: HYMNS FOR DISCO (Virgin Records)
I have to claim ignorance when it comes to K-os. He was always one of those artists I knew of, but hadn’t really heard much from. Now I gotta find a time machine and kick myself in the ass for not paying attention sooner, because this is one of the most beautiful and well-produced hip-hop albums to come out in a long time. Mixing rap and hip-hop with near classical sensibilities, K-os manages to do the one thing that so many hip-hop artists of today fail to achieve: something brand-new. Definitely high on my list for the best of 2007 so far. Every track is great, but be sure to keep an ear open for the Buck 65-backed track “The Ballad Of Noah”.
RATING: FIVE STARS
Right up there with classic soundtracks like Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Natural Born Killers, this soundtrack of seventeen tracks features an amazing array of talent. From The Black Keys to John Doe to R.L. Burnside, this dirty blues compilation is exactly what you’d hear blaring in some dive bar buried deep within the bayou. With additional performances from Son House and Jessie Mae Hemphill, how could this disc possibly get better? I’ll tell you how: with four additional tracks as grunted out by the bad motherfucker himself, Samuel L. Jackson. All of Jackson’s tracks are surprisingly good, but his final track, “Stackolee”, is the absolute true gem of the entire album.
RATING: FOUR STARS
DVDS:
FATS & FRIENDS (Time Life)
Shot over twenty years ago (way back in the stone age year of 1986), this video captures three piano greats—Fats Domino, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Ray Charles—as they share the stage one evening in the intimate Storyville Nightclub in New Orleans. In addition to the three greats, Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood backs the trio up onstage. As does the barely-humanlike Paul Shaffer. Yippee. To me, the shining moments of this film are seeing Fats and Ray pound away on the keys for a few songs. However, I’ve never been a fan of Jerry Lee Lewis, I fucking loathe Paul Shaffer (who annoyingly narrates and interviews each talent while dressed like an Eighties porn star), and the faked club noise that they dub in over the music is about as bad as canned laughter on a sitcom. But if you’re a fan of this trio of talent—and Paul Shaffer (?)—you may wanna pick it up. As far as I’m concerned, one viewing was enough.
RATING: TWO STARS
HACKING DEMOCRACY (Docurama)
Wanna get more pissed off at the fucked-up state of corporate America and how it’s the government’s prison bitch? Then watch this documentary. Seattle grandma and pro-truth advocate Bev Harris takes it upon herself to find out what the fuck is exactly going on with the American voting system. If you really need to have it explained to you, it’s corrupt as fuck. Going after the organized crime syndicate known as Diebold, Hacking Democracy is truly non-partisan, pointing the finger at both Democrats and Republican, depending on which region the voting is taking place. In short, if you want to know why your vote doesn’t count—as well as how to take steps to ensure that it will count in the future-- check this out.
RATING: FOUR STARS
ADRIANNE LENKER – LIVE AT THE SOUTHERN (Lucid Tunes)
Who is Adrianne Lenker? Good question. Here’s a better question: why did someone think it was a good idea to give this fourteen-year-old singer/songwriter a DVD/CD combo release, especially when no one has ever heard of her? Could it be her tritely hushed lyrics and average guitar playing? Nope. How about the similarity in sound between her and other female singer/songwriters-- most of whom have faded away over the years-- like Jewel and Joan Osbourne? Nah. Is it her ripped jeans and the fact that she’s not wearing shoes? No. What about her awkward stage presence and banter with the twelve people that actually came to her show? Nuh-uh. How about the fact that she’s a cute white girl who wears tight t-shirts and jeans, and is obviously exploding into womanhood? Bingo! Don’t get me wrong, she can play music better than I can, but so can most of the retarded kids my mother teaches on a daily basis. But are her skills really worthy of a DVD/CD set? Hell no. So, if you’re looking for something good and new, go elsewhere. However, I do suggest this release to all of our pedophilic readers who are looking for some new stroke material. You know who you are… Jocco.
RATING: ONE STAR
THE MAXWELL MULTIPLE CLIMAX (Dammit Jim Pictures)
I’m no slouch in the sack (or at least that’s what my mother always told me), but I’ll still take any helpful advice that comes my way. Enter: The Maxwell Multiple Climax, a thirty-minute self-help film that leads the way toward multiple male orgasm. Fucking… awesome. Shot and produced entirely tongue-in-cheek-- almost in the style of blaxploitation (sans black people, of course)-- MMC never takes itself too seriously. Still, it’s far from a gag video. The method does supposedly work, though it may take up to months to master. Having just watched it last night, I haven’t had the chance to test the theory yet. However, I will be trying it out. (What sane man wouldn’t?) The basic idea behind it is that orgasms don’t necessarily always lead to ejaculation, and that a man can have an orgasm—nay, hundreds of orgasms—without actually coming. Amazing. Now I can have an orgasm anywhere without having to worry about the cleanup. Look out world, here I come. Ba-dum-bum.
RATING: FOUR STARS
NOISY NORA… AND MORE STORIES ABOUT MISCHIEF (Scholastic Video Collection)
I don’t have any kids yet, but some day some lucky lady will be fortunate enough to have my seed planted inside of her. I know, I’m a hopeless romantic. Anyway, Scholastic has been sending me these DVD collections of children’s stories for a couple years now, and each one of them proves to be good enough for me to hold onto for the day my offspring comes into the world. Of course, DVDs will probably be obsolete by then, but whatever. This DVD collects five stories, the first of which is Noisy Nora from Rosemary Wells, which is a book I do remember reading as a kid. And while I hold a certain amount of nostalgia for the story, it’s the weakest one of the bunch. Far better is the tale of a bummed-out clown and a homeless dog he befriends (John Burningham’s Cannonball), or the story of two victims of bullies (i.e. nerds) who find a pair of motorcycle goggles (Ezra Jack Keats’ Goggles). But my favorite story on the disc—and the best illustrated—is the tale of a not-so-terrible Tyrannosaurus rex (Peter McCarty’s T Is For Terrible). There is also a bonus story thrown in: Jules Feiffer’s Munro. In all, pretty entertaining to a thirty-year-old man who has a rock where his heart should be. Now if I could just find a baby’s mama to give me a little Chinsang to watch ‘em with. Ladies, you know how to reach me.
RATING: THREE STARS